You Cannot Undo But You Can New Do

As we approach the end of another year, and prepare a list of what we hope to accomplish, or renounce, during the coming year, let's remember that what's been done is over, and can't be undone, but we can do new things and thereby, re-invent ourselves.

Harsh is the sting of conscience which can keep reminding us of past mistakes. Sometimes the dumb things we've said and done can rise up like a specter, a ghostly presence, smirking and hoping to thwart any upsurge of better deeds, like a captor attempting to prevent our escape from a gloomy behavioral prison.

When we resolve to abandon a mode of being, a bad habit, a poisoned aspect of our personality, the phantom of actions past blocks our way, snarling at us to abandon hope, to succumb to the comfort zone of inertia, and stop rebelling against what's wrong with us.

All we can do is admit the past deed was done, by us, but is no longer the pattern for future activity. We should be able to glare at it, peer into it, see all the unseemly facets and repercussions of the old mistake, without falling into it as though it were quicksand that rapidly sets into cement, barring our reformation.

You may wish, at times of weakness and unbridled fancy, to go back and undo the deed. But the past is gone. There's nothing you can do in that zone of time. All you can do is be more conscious of it, analyze it, comprehend its inner mechanisms and external contingencies, reject and abhor it, then move on.

If it was possible to re-inhabit the past, and we could fix things and change what we did, I think most of us would spend a lot of time there. Then what would happen to the present and the future? They'd be shipwrecked.

Why spend time wishing you could undo something? Spend that valuable time in the act of new doing. Be renewed in your doings. Start doing those things your best self knows you should do. Stop doing those things your conscience, your spiritual training, your philosophy tells you that you should not be doing.

Be glad you at least have the self-awareness to label something an error, a misguided decision, a failure of moral courage, a lapse in your elevated standards, sin or a mis-step -- and not embrace everything you've ever done as perfect, golden, and beyond critique.

You are not your past. You are a mixture of your past, what you're doing right now, and what you end up doing in the future. It's the fleeting now and the unknown but constantly arriving future that we can do something about.

I was once asleep in a dream that everything about me was glorious, everything I did, all that I ever said, all my ideas and opinions and beliefs. Then I hit rock bottom and started radically questioning my entire life and the contents of my mind and heart. It was painful. I began to see why I crashed, why my life was so destroyed.

Staring into the ugly face of our worst self can be terrifying and discouraging. But it must be done if we want to move on to new victories.

I was wary of the karma or consequences that were due to some of my bad actions and inferior attitudes. I resolved to start all over again, be a new me, and try to focus on what was good within me, reject what was bad, and seek more of the good and true.

My personal solution was to return to the faith of my youth, to become a Christian again, as Kierkegaard says, when I was already, supposedly, a Christian. I was a failed believer, a backslider, a shoot that grew up fast, then wilted slowly, unperceived, unnoticed until it was almost too late.

Identify what your best dreams and hopes were when you were younger, more innocent, less full of excuses for compromise and negligence. In some ways, we were wiser when we were younger. We may have had a clearer vision, unobstructed by the so-called realization of "mature realities" -- which is often just a thinly disguised loss of devotion.

The past? It's dead. Understand it as much as you can, then bury it and walk away, headed toward a better you, a stronger self, a more perfect person.

When you dismiss vain wishes to undo, and focus instead on what you can new do, you create bright, happy new memories that may, to some extent, overwhelm and negate those old memories of remorse and shame.

When that old bad memory arises, just divert your attention with "Yeah, but look at what I did last week, or what I'm doing now, which is a total departure from that."

Keep reminding yourself: "I can't undo, but I can new do."